March 20, 2013

Happy Wednesday morning.  It's also the first day of Spring.  So, the first day of Spring is full of rain, thunder and a little lightening.  I guess the flowers needed some water.  I love watching the rain, however, it does nothing for my back pain.  So, today I will rest and let the back heal.  I have a lot of computer work to get done anyway so its okay. 

I listened to my Daily Audio Bible program again today.  It's nice getting back into the swing of things.  I missed this while I was gone.  it's amazing how quickly we can get distracted from the important things in life.  Going to Steinhatchee was incredible.  Not only did I enjoy the time with Aunt Twila, but also the time watching the beauty God created.  I was so relaxed there.  The only thing that could have made it better was if Jeff and David could have joined us. 

This is a picture of one of the beautiful sunsets at the end of the river where it joins the Gulf.  God makes the most beautiful pictures, doesn't He? 

This is a picture of the river right behind my cousins home.  It was so nice and cool.  When I sat outside I could hear the birds singing.  The dogs were running around and jumping into the river.  It was so peaceful and relaxing.  I wondered if this was what the Garden of Eden might have been like.  I certainly didn't want to leave.  I took tons of pictures because I just couldn't get enough.  The time went by much too fast.  I can't wait to go back. 

Today's verse is Phillippians 1:27.  It says, Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.

Proverbs 11:20-21 says, "Those of crooked heart are an abomination to the Lord, but those of bleameless ways are His delight.  Be assured, an evil person will not go unpunished, but the offspring of the righteous will be delivered. 

Those verses really touched me today.  As we struggle to survive day by day I often wonder if God has forgotten us.  In my heart I know He hasn't.  But then I think about the people that I know are doing wrong and yet it seems they are doing well in life while we struggle.   In Phillippains God clearly says we are to live right and do HIS will even when we think He isn't looking.  And in Proverbs He says that those who are cheaters are living wrong will be PUNISHED!  But those of us who continue to life RIGHT and do HIS will are His delight and will be delivered.  Jeff used to have an employee that would almost daily say, "If ya ain't cheating; ya ain't trying."  As a human I can understand why someone would feel that way.  But as a child of the King I need to remember that God wants us to do right at all costs and we are to survive and make Him proud of us.  I want to be used of God in any way He wants. 

I am thankful for the blessings in my life.  I am thankful for a husband who loves the Lord.  He works hard and does what is right even when it seems how unfair he is often treated.  I am thankful for three beautiful chidlren who love the Lord and are learning to do right.  They aren't perfect but they are God's children given to Jeff and I to raise and love while here on earth.  As Hawk used to say, "When God gives you a child, it is your DUTY to raise them to love the Lord and get them back to Heaven when their work here on earth is done."  I am thankful for a home to live in that GOD provided.  I am thankful for the ability to do what I can.  I wish I could do more but if I could I don't know if I would have built the relationship I now have with God and my children.  Life is hard but GOD is so good. 

God provides a a shiny North Star for us to follow.  We are to read His Word, pray daily and be sensitive to His direction.  We have been given the Holy Spirit to guide us, we just need to listen - STOP TALKING and listen.  Sitting by the river, I could hear God's creations.  I could enjoy peace like none I had ever experienced.  I need to find that peace no matter where I am.

I need to stop trying to figure things out and just STOP and LISTEN!  God has our lives all planned out for us.  We don't need to fix anything or show God what needs to happen next.  We need to just follow, obey, pray and be thankful for all He is doing.  One of my favorite Pastor's is Pastor Wally Metts.  He was an amazing man of God.  He used to tell us that if life was going smooth then we weren't doing something right.  Because when we are doing what God wants and following His will it makes the devil mad and he will work overtime to derail us.

Dear Heavenly Father, I rebuke satan and all his terrible lies.  I pray Lord for a hedge of protection around me and my family.  Lord, please keep my heart sensitive to Your leading.  I want to follow You in every step I take.  Thank you for your protection and provisions.  You bless us above and beyond what we deserve.  We deserve NOTHING and yet you care for us and provide all we need plus more.  I ask that You use me to do whatever You want me to do.  Thank You for my life.  I praise You!!!

In Jesus name Amen!

March 19, 2013

Wow, how time does fly.  I haven't written in over a week.  Once again life got way too busy.  I hate that when time flies by.  I work so hard to make time for God each day and once again I got caught up in life...UGH!

So last Monday, March 11, 2013 I turned 44!  It was a wonderful day of celebration.  David, Daniel and Jannine took me out to lunch at Mango Bistro.  I so enjoy spending quality time with my children.  Jeff was taking a walk at lunch and even stopped in for a quick visit.  Then we had to get home so Daniel could get to work.  This was the first day of spring break for the kids.  After we got home I continued to pack for our trip to see Aunt Twila.  When Jeff got home from work he took Jannine and I out to dinner at Outback.  I feel so unworthy of all this attention.  My family is so good to me.  When we returned home I again focussed on packing.  David and Lauren were at the house upon our return.  I walked into a cake with a large 27 on top lit!  I asked what the 27 was for.  David laughed and said it was the 17th anniversary of my 27th birthday!  He cracks me up.  We had cake and enjoyed visiting.  Tuesday morning we all got up early.  Jeff went to work, David got ready for work and Jannine, Daniel and I loaded the car to head to Aunt Twila's.  We had to stop at the Sarasota Airport so I could renew my ID badge.  We grabbed some lunch via the drive thru and were finally headed north about 11am.  The drive was gorgeous.  As we reached Ocala the roads began to be a little hilly and just pretty.  We finally arrived at Scott and Jody's house at 4:30pm.  Jody was at the dentist office so it was just Scott, Twila and I plus the kids for a while.  I found her sitting on the couch looking at me as though I was a stranger.  It broke my heart that she didn't know me.  But it didn't really matter because I knew her and was glad to see her.  Later Jody came home and we made supper.  They live in a beautiful area called Steinhatchee, FL.  Their home is located on a river.  It is so peaceful there.  I wish I would have taken time to go and sit by the river, blog and read my Bible, but I didn't.  We stayed up late visiting each night and then slept in.  The first night I was there we looked through old pictures.  Aunt Twila knew everyone in the pictures and told us about them.  It's sad that she can't remember the current time.  She seemed happy knowing people in the pictures.  It's like we had her back for a short time.  Much of her day is filled with anxiety.  She just wants to help, she wants to please and she wants to not be alone.  Putting her to bed at night was always sad.  She would question where everyone was going to sleep like a child.  She would repeat, "oh dear" as she would worry about what she was supposed to do or where she was supposed to be.  She would even cry when putting her to bed at night.

As our time carried on she seemed to remember me once in a while.  Three or four times while we were there she called me by my name.  I loved it when she said my name.  She seem to think that Jannine was me.  She has long hair like I did when I was little and she looks a lot like I did.  We sang a song together called, "Supper Time" later that evening.  She and my Mom used to sing that song all the time when they were kids.  When I was about Jannine's age, they taught it to me.  Aunt Twila and I sang it together at Mom's funeral.  She remembered all the words and sang along just beautifully.  She has perfect harmony.  Jannine took the video camera and recorded us singing for a while.  Then I took my cell phone and recorded us talking and singing for a while after that.  She just kept singing that same song all night long after that. 

She doesn't remember that Mom is gone.  She doesn't remember that she was married to Uncle Kenny.  She doesn't remember my husband or my kids.  She doesn't remember living in Georgia.  She doesn't know what year it is or where she is.  She doesn't know Jody who takes care of her every day.  It's so sad what Alzheimers takes away from a person.  As Mrs. Nancy Regan said, "Alzheimers is a slow goodbye."  It makes me wish I had gotten up there sooner.  I so badly wanted her to remember me.  I longed for her to just remember me a little bit.  I would go to bed at night and cry.  She is physically very healthy but mentally gone.  She has to be instructed to do everything.

We stayed from Tuesday, March 12 until Friday morning March 15th.  I was so thankful for that time.  We left at 10am and pulled into our driveway at 3:30pm.  Poor Daniel needed to be at work at 4pm.  That is calling it just a little too close.  But we made it.  I can't wait to go back and see her more.  Thankfully she is nice.  She just wants to serve and be helpful.  I pray for Jody and Scott every day.  She is a lot to take care of and they do it with such joy.  They are good to her.  She is happy and that is all that matters. 

I have been waiting for our IRS refund to hit the bank.  Yesterday I called to see what was the delay.  I found out that my SSN had been flagged as identify theft.  They informed me it could be another 6 - 10 weeks before they got it figured out.  It put me into a tail spin.  We are so tight financially.  I was counting on the money to cover my trip to see Aunt Twila.  I spent time crying to God asking Him why.  I have been trying to be good.  I have been paying our tithe.  But, I hadn't been spending time with God.  So, I don't know if that is why but it has been delayed.  I called again today and feel like we have got a solution to the situation but she said not to expect it much before April 8th at least.  I do not know the reason for the delay but I have to realize that God is in control and He didn't say oops!  He is in control. 

So, today I feel God is teaching me to ALWAYS wait on God.  He is in control and HE will take care of everything.  I have to stop and look for the blessings in each day and I have to be a blessing to others God puts in my life.

Thank you God for allowing me to visit with Aunt Twila.  Thank you God for Scott and Jody who are able to care for her.  Please God allow Aunt Twila to be comforted and peaceful as she lives out the rest of her life. 

So, I will write again tomorrow.  Have a blessed day!

March 7, 2013

It is a very chilly Floriday morning here.  It is actually 68 degrees in the house and I have all the windows closed tight.  I love this type of weather.  My body doesn't really enjoy it but I personally love the cold.  However, even though the weather has been cold and nice it makes things very dry and a terrible forrest fire developed late yesterday.  Several homes were in danger of burning down.  It was scary to see how fast the fires were moving.  Three seperate fires developed in a short amount of time because of the strong winds.  A good friend of ours was in the path of all three fires.  At one point it got only 400 yards from their home. 

Hearing about all of that made me think about life.  We get so very busy that sometimes life gets quickly out of hand.  It seems when things go wrong everything suddenly falls apart at all once.  I can remember so many times I felt like all my energy was being used to put out fires in my life.  The devil loves it when we get complacent and he goes into high gear starting little fires and hoping we don't noticed until it is too late.  God tells us to always be focussed on stay close to Him. We need to constantly remember to SLOW DOWN and pay attention to what God is doing in our lives.  Reading God's Word and praying is so important.  Our hearts need to be tender to God's direction.  In the big and LITTLE decisions of each day we need to stay focussed. 

Since I have had to be home because of my back situation I have had more time to get closer to God.  I don't every want to loose this precious time.  I feel so much stronger scripturally.  I don't want to get too busy to spend that precious time with God each and every day.  God has been working so much in my life especially since January 2013.  Phillippians 1:27 says Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel. 

How are we living our life each day?   I think often about my marriage to my wonderful husband and best friend Jeff.  So many of our friends are unhappy in their marriages.  I feel so blessed to love my husband and have a relationship with him that only seems to grow.  In our marriage and in life we must keep ourselves tied to the ship's mast to prevent ourselves from being lured away.  Marriage into today's culture seems to be so flipant.  If it doesn't work out, just get a divorce.  One little bump in the road and people quit!  God created marriage to be a covenant - a deeply binding commitment designed to help us weather our most difficult circumstances.  However, we have to stand strong and stay tied to the mast in order to survive.  I often give a poem to new couples that are getting married.  It is a poem that was given to Jeff and I on our wedding day.  Marriage takes Three is that title.  Marriage takes three to be complete, It's not enough for two to meet.  They must be united in love, by love's creator God above.  Then their love will be firm and strong; able to last when things go wrong.  Because they've felt God's love and know; He's always there, He'll never go.  And they have both loved him in kind; With all their heart and soul and mind.  And in that love they've found the way to love each other every day.  A marriage that follows God's plan takes more than a woman and a man.  It needs a oneness that can be, only from Christ.  Marriage takes three. 

My verse of the day is Romans 8:35 that says, Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 

Nothing can separate us from Christ.  We need to make an effort to keep our marriage and our relationship with God sold and work on it every day.  God loves us and wants the best for us.  We can't know what God's direction is for us if we do not seek Him through the Word of God and through prayer.  We need to cherrish our relationship with our spouse as well.  We need to continue to work on it and pray together.  We made a committment to God and a committment to our spouse.

Have a great day today.  Stop and enjoy the blessings God has for you today.  And make sure you are available to be a blessing to someone else as well.  God bless you. 

March 5, 2013

Wow, I am failing terribly in my daily Bible reading and daily blogging.  I am not sure what happened but I need to get back on track.  I am not going to try and catch up, just going to begin again from today going forward.

Let me tell you about the last few days and what God has done.  I love looking at the little things and seeing how God is working in my daily life.  I am nobody important.  I am not famous.  I am just me!  Yet God does things for me and through me that blows me away. 

Anyway, my 2003 Dodge Grand Caravan has been a wonderful vehicle.  It has a few dents and scratches from me and the kids driving it.  I backed into a tree, the mail box and the kids hit a pole in the parking lot.  It isn't perfect looking on the outside and the roofing lining is falling down on the inside.  Yet, it still works and takes us where we need to go each and every day.  About two weeks ago I started having a difficult time turning the key and starting the car.  I just kept praying that God will allow it to work because we just don't have the money to repare it right now.  On Friday night Daniel used the van for work and then stopped by a friend's house after work.  At 11:30pm he called and said the van wouldn't start.  I drove to where he was and was unable to get the key to turn at all.  Jeff was flying Saturday morning so he couldn't deal with it until evening.  I drove Daniel to work around 11am, David left at 11:30am for work and Jannine left for a friends house on 12pm.  I was all alone.  Just me and the dogs in the house all day.  It was so quiet and empty feeling.  I was scheduled to sing in Church on Sunday so I began to practice my song. 

The song was called, "Not for a moment."  I started realling listening and reading the words as I practiced.  The first verse; You were reaching through the storm, walking on the water, even when I could not see.  In the middle of it all when I thought You were a thousand miles away, not for a moment did You forsake me.  Verse two says; You were singing in the dark, whispering Your promise.  Even when I could not hear.  I was held in Your arms carried for a thousand miles to show, not for a moment did You forsake me.  Verse three; and every step every breath You are there.  Every tear every cry every prayer.  In my heart at my worst when my world falls down.  Not for a moment did You forsake me.  Even in the dark, even when it's hard You will never leave me.  The chorus; after all You are constant, after all You are only good; After all You are sovereign.  Not for a moment will You forsake me.  The meaning of sovereign is ultimate and complete ruler.  God is sovereign.  He is in charge of everything and knows everything. 

So, as I was signing this song and realling understand what it all meant I realized that I need to just LET GO!  God is soverign.  He knows that my van is broke down.  He knows what are finances are like and He will take care of everything if I will JUST LET GO!  So, I prayed and I cried throughout the day asking God to help me let go and let HIM take over.  I then felt such peace and calm. 

Later Saturday Jeff and I went over to see if he could get the van to start, but it just wouldn't.  I was concerened because we use the van to pick up children for Church.  None of the kids could come on Sunday so Jeff, Jannine and I headed to Venice.  Pastor John invited me to sing.  I gave a very tiny and very short testimony and then nodded for the music to begin and it wouldn't.  So I told a little more about what God has been doing in my life.  When I was fininshed speaking suddenly the music began.  Half way through the song the music stopped but I kept on singing. It was a powerful moment.  I had prayed for God to use me to give HIM all the glory.  After Church we went to have lunch with some dear friends.  We had such a wonderful time just talking and laughing.  They had come to our church for the first time and really enjoyed the message and our wonderful group of people.  After lunch we came home and then went back over to the van.  Praise GOD the key turned and we were able to get it home.  Then Monday we got it to the mechanic.  The cost to repair was not too bad and not it works again!  God had it all under sontrol.  Why do I every question?  I am such a human!  I pray the LOrd forgivesss me when I doubt. 

Then yesterday I went to the mail box and again GOD blessed!  I received the letter regarding my disability.  The judge approved my disability case and declared I was fully disabled.  I don't know any details but am praising God for a favorable answer.  GOD IS SO GOOD!  He never fails.  He is constant, He is SOVEREIGN!

I guess throughout this process what I am learning is that God has it all under control and I just really need to let go and He will take care of everything.  My part is to trust and obey!  I need to pay my tithe, spend time in prayer, pray and praise Him all the time.  A saying I Have beside my bed says, "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."  Proverbs 3: 5 & 6 are my favorite verses!

So today, stop and find the blessings that God has for you today.  Maybe He wants YOU to be a blessing to someone that needs Him today.  So be sensitive to God's leading in every step you take and every word  you speak!

God bless you.