So last Monday, March 11, 2013 I turned 44! It was a wonderful day of celebration. David, Daniel and Jannine took me out to lunch at Mango Bistro. I so enjoy spending quality time with my children. Jeff was taking a walk at lunch and even stopped in for a quick visit. Then we had to get home so Daniel could get to work. This was the first day of spring break for the kids. After we got home I continued to pack for our trip to see Aunt Twila. When Jeff got home from work he took Jannine and I out to dinner at Outback. I feel so unworthy of all this attention. My family is so good to me. When we returned home I again focussed on packing. David and Lauren were at the house upon our return. I walked into a cake with a large 27 on top lit! I asked what the 27 was for. David laughed and said it was the 17th anniversary of my 27th birthday! He cracks me up. We had cake and enjoyed visiting. Tuesday morning we all got up early. Jeff went to work, David got ready for work and Jannine, Daniel and I loaded the car to head to Aunt Twila's. We had to stop at the Sarasota Airport so I could renew my ID badge. We grabbed some lunch via the drive thru and were finally headed north about 11am. The drive was gorgeous. As we reached Ocala the roads began to be a little hilly and just pretty. We finally arrived at Scott and Jody's house at 4:30pm. Jody was at the dentist office so it was just Scott, Twila and I plus the kids for a while. I found her sitting on the couch looking at me as though I was a stranger. It broke my heart that she didn't know me. But it didn't really matter because I knew her and was glad to see her. Later Jody came home and we made supper. They live in a beautiful area called Steinhatchee, FL. Their home is located on a river. It is so peaceful there. I wish I would have taken time to go and sit by the river, blog and read my Bible, but I didn't. We stayed up late visiting each night and then slept in. The first night I was there we looked through old pictures. Aunt Twila knew everyone in the pictures and told us about them. It's sad that she can't remember the current time. She seemed happy knowing people in the pictures. It's like we had her back for a short time. Much of her day is filled with anxiety. She just wants to help, she wants to please and she wants to not be alone. Putting her to bed at night was always sad. She would question where everyone was going to sleep like a child. She would repeat, "oh dear" as she would worry about what she was supposed to do or where she was supposed to be. She would even cry when putting her to bed at night.
As our time carried on she seemed to remember me once in a while. Three or four times while we were there she called me by my name. I loved it when she said my name. She seem to think that Jannine was me. She has long hair like I did when I was little and she looks a lot like I did. We sang a song together called, "Supper Time" later that evening. She and my Mom used to sing that song all the time when they were kids. When I was about Jannine's age, they taught it to me. Aunt Twila and I sang it together at Mom's funeral. She remembered all the words and sang along just beautifully. She has perfect harmony. Jannine took the video camera and recorded us singing for a while. Then I took my cell phone and recorded us talking and singing for a while after that. She just kept singing that same song all night long after that.
She doesn't remember that Mom is gone. She doesn't remember that she was married to Uncle Kenny. She doesn't remember my husband or my kids. She doesn't remember living in Georgia. She doesn't know what year it is or where she is. She doesn't know Jody who takes care of her every day. It's so sad what Alzheimers takes away from a person. As Mrs. Nancy Regan said, "Alzheimers is a slow goodbye." It makes me wish I had gotten up there sooner. I so badly wanted her to remember me. I longed for her to just remember me a little bit. I would go to bed at night and cry. She is physically very healthy but mentally gone. She has to be instructed to do everything.
We stayed from Tuesday, March 12 until Friday morning March 15th. I was so thankful for that time. We left at 10am and pulled into our driveway at 3:30pm. Poor Daniel needed to be at work at 4pm. That is calling it just a little too close. But we made it. I can't wait to go back and see her more. Thankfully she is nice. She just wants to serve and be helpful. I pray for Jody and Scott every day. She is a lot to take care of and they do it with such joy. They are good to her. She is happy and that is all that matters.
I have been waiting for our IRS refund to hit the bank. Yesterday I called to see what was the delay. I found out that my SSN had been flagged as identify theft. They informed me it could be another 6 - 10 weeks before they got it figured out. It put me into a tail spin. We are so tight financially. I was counting on the money to cover my trip to see Aunt Twila. I spent time crying to God asking Him why. I have been trying to be good. I have been paying our tithe. But, I hadn't been spending time with God. So, I don't know if that is why but it has been delayed. I called again today and feel like we have got a solution to the situation but she said not to expect it much before April 8th at least. I do not know the reason for the delay but I have to realize that God is in control and He didn't say oops! He is in control.
So, today I feel God is teaching me to ALWAYS wait on God. He is in control and HE will take care of everything. I have to stop and look for the blessings in each day and I have to be a blessing to others God puts in my life.
Thank you God for allowing me to visit with Aunt Twila. Thank you God for Scott and Jody who are able to care for her. Please God allow Aunt Twila to be comforted and peaceful as she lives out the rest of her life.
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