January 13, 2013

Happy Sunday! 

Today my day started out going to Church at Fellowship Bible Church.  Pastor John Meyer gave us a wonderful message. 

Today I am just getting to my Bible study at 6:30pm.  Ephesians 1:11 says In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will.  My study talked about a question that I often ask.  How long Lord?  Is this necessary Lord?  Will I ever overcome?  Those are all questions that I frequently ask.  I have to admit that I have cried out and maybe even screamed alone in the house asking God why?  With all we have been through over the last few years... it's been tough.  We lost our home unexpectedly in September 2010 to foreclosure.  We were current on our payments from the mortgage modification and came home one night to locked doors!  But, praise God that same day Steve and Amy Leonard were moving and asked if we could watch their home.  We asked if we could move in and they agreed.  Praise the Lord for His perfect timing.  I have been fighting for disability since April 1, 2011.  It has been such a struggle.  However, just Wednesday January 9, 2013 I had my day in court.  We don't know for sure if I was awarded the disability, but it looks pretty good right now.

God always has perfect timing.  Acts 4:29-31 is a perfect prayer during these times.  No matter the outcome and no matter how frightened I feel, no matter how things appear, I will walk forward in the Spirit by faith, fearlessly!  I have to ask Him to do what only He can do, but also ask Him to help me do what I must do which is LIVE BY FAITH NOT FEAR!!!! 

Deuteronomy 32:39 says, see now that I, even I, am he, and there is no God beside me; I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand.

Today I stopped in a visited Leah and Larence's family.  Richie is dying.  He can hardly breathe.  He can't really speak very well.  I tries to smile but he struggles for every breath.  He may not be here tomorrow.  Heather is so sad.  I feel for her.  As I drove home alone I was thinking about all the funny moments we had at the bus stop.  He used to always goof around with the kids stepping on their toes and making them laugh while we waited for the bus.  Now, that time will be gone.  I didn't appreciate those silly moments enough.  Cancer has taken over his body.  It's hard to see him suffer.  It's hard to see Heather and the kids cry.  He has been a good man to them.  All I can do is pray and ask God to ease his pain and take him home.  We confirmed that he knows the Lord and is ready for glory.  I can't imagine what that time in your life feels like.  At Christmas we came by and sang carols and blessed there family with gifts, food and money.  What an honor to be part of that time.  It was a blessing to me ... as we blessed them! 

God has everything under control.  I just need to keep myself under control and TRUST!  Proverbs 3: 5 & 6 is my favorite verse and so appropriate for today's study.  Thank you God!  I love you and I trust you.